she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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