used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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