Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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