So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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