Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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