People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
