went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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