i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
