The maid of honor just puked.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
then he tried to convert me to islam
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
