garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
