Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
