she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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