I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
