Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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