hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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