Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
