The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
