It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
