So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
