I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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