i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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