we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
