i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
