I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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