just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
