How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
