I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
