Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
