I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
