Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
