So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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