whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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