I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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