i can't believe i had my finger in that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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