god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
