Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
