Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize