google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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