Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
