I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
