oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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