Yo dont text me then not text me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
