Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
