I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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