We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize