just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
