I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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