so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
