I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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