i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
