I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
