i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
