He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
