I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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