Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
