Green mimosas i think yes
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
