She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
