If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
