Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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