Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
