so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
