I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize