We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
