I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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