did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
